Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Being restored

    38 and counting. That’s 38 in addition to. I made my commitment to Christ at age 6 in a church that my Dad was pastoring. I waved the white flag of ministry (better known in those days as “surrendering”, appropriately so) at age twenty on August 8, 1974. If you count the time that I spent as a PK, that qualifies me to an opinion about life in the glass house of ministry. Allow me to ramp up to today’s epiphany.
    For generations, Americans have been influenced by the Puritan work ethic. While believing that prosperity was an evidence of God’s pleasure with a person or group of persons, the Puritans none-the-less subscribed to a life of hard work. Small wonder that they did so well. Unfortunately, austerity was the hallmark of their journey, including but not limited to their worship practices. In a very old volume appropriately titled The Sabbath in Puritan New England are accounts of the primitive nature of the Puritan church meeting place and the retrospectively entertaining sagas of benches, endlessly long prayers, dry preaching and the debate over providing a source of heat during the brutally cold New England winters.
    While making his way from truck driver to Pastor my Dad encountered the salt-of-the-earth kind of folks who believed in hard work for everyone, including the preacher. We had that joyful experience of living in housing provided by various churches known as a parsonage. The good church folk treated it as a great favor to the Pastor, especially by conveniently locating it next to the church building. And because the Pastor was so favored with such accommodating living arrangements, he certainly didn’t need as much income to survive. What they never admitted to was that this living arrangement allowed them to “keep an eye on the Pastor”. Many a Pastor has lived under this kind of microscope in which the Deacons all had keys to the parsonage and felt no need to announce themselves upon arrival. Oh, how I miss those romantic days. NOT!
    Scrutiny. Good word so long as I am the scrutineer. Not-so-good word if I am the scrutinee. How a Pastor spend his time is important. The Puritan work ethic scrutiny expressed itself over time as making certain that the Pastor “puts in his time”. Churches historically have expected the Pastor to be working when they are (8-5) and then ministering when people are available (5-whenever). While offering him vacation time, there have always been those who have “watched the clock” and “watched the calender” to insure that he has “put in his time”. It’s almost as though there was an unwritten rule: “we have to punch a clock to get paid, so should you.” Need anyone wonder why my call to ministry was a “surrender”?
    38 and counting. That’s 38 in addition to. My journey has never been about whether I “put in my time”. I’ve been a workaholic. I don’t doubt that the long days, weeks and months of self-denial have paid huge dividends to church growth, including our success in church planting. I know what it is to go weeks (made up of 14 hr days) without a break. I know what it is go months without a week off. Frankly, I can’t second guess whether I was right or wrong during those stretches. After all, when you bring the baby home from the hospital, you do what you have to do, when you have to do it for the sake of the welfare of the child. That was then. This is now.
    In 38 years there have been a lot of casualties. Very few that began their ministries at the same time as I are still “pulling at the oars”. While some crashed and burned under the strain, other went down in flames to immorality, impropriety or infamy. It’s been tough learning how to “take it easy” but I’m working on it. The predecessor in my previous church didn’t buy into the expectation of others. When criticized for not “being in the office” enough, he responded with, “You don’t even know what I am doing when I am there. For all you know, I could be playing video games.” Of course it didn’t hurt that he was retired military. I plan on serving until I don’t, not going down in flames.
    I think that I finally get it. 38 and counting. The first Deacons were enlisted to allow the preachers plenty of time with God and the Word. When was the last time that anyone complained, “Preacher, your not spending enough time with the Father!” Over the last 19 yrs, I have set my own schedule. In the last few years I have been allowing more “God time” than “ministry time”. Then, while sitting here today, it occurred to me that the phone wasn’t ringing, I had no pressing engagement, the sermon was ready (relatively) for next Sunday, I wasn’t expected anywhere by anyone for anything. The Spirit brought to my mind the words, “He restores my soul.” We all know where that comes from, but do we permit ourselves the luxury of having our souls restored without feeling guilty over the expectations of others? No one came screaming, “Pastor, you’re working to much”, or “Pastor, we need to pay you overtime”, or “Pastor, we need to send you and your wife on a cruise” during the first three decades. Now that the Good Shepherd wants to “restore my soul”, I’m not going to feel guilty. I’m sort of liking this....

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for your blog. Once again I am reminded of the "joy of living." More and more, I need to be reminded that God blesses each of us with His own gifts and at His own time and I need to receive His blessings without feeling guilty or underserving. Each of us are children of God, created in His image, and because of the blood of Jesus, He sees no imperfections. Thank you Lord!

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